Me too!
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I love you. Go after that dick
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
