a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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