eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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