I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
