i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
where are you?
Hypothermia
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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