Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
