Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
