i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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