Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
