i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
