he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Randomize
