i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
