there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
