it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
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Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
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75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize