Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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