Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize