We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
