there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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