All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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