4 words: hood of his car
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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