dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
