he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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