I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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