i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
