Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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