I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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