I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
