I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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