I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
