I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
