Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
