wanna go halves on a baby?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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