am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
