You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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