he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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