They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
