Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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