nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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