If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Randomize
