How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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