its not stalking. its research.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
