oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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