Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
