Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize