I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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