I love black thongs
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
MIDGETS
????
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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