I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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