Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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