go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
