I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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