I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
This is classic penis vs brain.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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