You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
