I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
