jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
