I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I know her cup size but not her name....
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