if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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