I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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