Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
