I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She told me I should be a condom model.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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