i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
