The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
