At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
