I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
